I was awake and aware of what was going on around me,..nude,..flat on my back,..being prepped for a cardiac catheterization and possible angioplasty. I was also happy from 1 mg. of versaid floating around in my system...curtesy of a VERY painful IV.
The nurse,.who was preppinging me,..had just gven me her name and several other pertinent facts about herself,..which I was just as happily forgetting in my pleasantly induced "drugged" haze.

Normally an aspirin or two can send me into "la-la" land...so the "versaid" had me somewhere in the "Himilayas"..of my mind...a song popped out of nowhere..into my now expanded arena of awareness. I began to sing,.."HOLY RAMA...VISHNU...VISHNU..HARI..KRUSHNA."
I felt someone grab both of my hands!! It was the prep nurse, who had been shavinging my other end in preparation for the cardiac catheterization,..which would ascend from the artery in the right side of the innermost part of my groin and go up into my heart via that artery! She had just shaved a portion of my anatomy which is usually not shown in public. I tried to focus on what she was emoting so emotionally,..."....my little sister is deaf and going blind! My mother and I read your book together! It changed our lives!! I just recogized you!!"

Sheeeesh, lady!

I am not a famous person and I am happy that out of the million and one people that you "prep" everyday that you recognized me and that the book,.that I helped write..changed your life and that of your mom and possibly your little sister for the better,..but I would rather be recognized...when you are staring at MY FACE!

So..tomorrow..I have a little tv camera go floating through my blood vessels! That ought to be a really interesting voyage for it!! The big question is:...just how badly are my pipes corroded??? Does the plumbing look like it can be fixed? If they can fix my plumbing,..will the docs use angioplasty..(a balloon that blows up inside of one's blood vessels till it breaks up the blockages caused by the offending cholesterol...or will it be several bypasses of the "chop-open-one's-chest"type?

For my viewing pleasure,..I was given today a video..of "Basic Bypass Surgery: Patient Implicatons and Response!"

Upon viewing it with my family,..Bill's first response was to turn white at the first incision shown,..gasp,..put hs hand over his mouth,..and leave the room!! Puking sounds followed. This boy will never have a career in a medical field!!

My husband was "o-K" till they started to turn the aorta..inside out while the blood was still gushing!! He.too,..quietly left the scene!!

ReaL good moral support,..huh!?????!

So we went to the "Marriage Encounter" reunion yesterday in Marietta, Ohio. Out of about twenty couples,...only five couples showed up!! The ones,.who talked the most about their "intense and enlightening personal experiences..." didn't show up at all!!
We were treated to one man's account as to the fact that he and his wife were going to go to New York City for the week. He went on and on with his talk,..but his wife said nothing.

Another couple spoke longingly of hoping to get to know other people and sharing "fellowship" with them. When I asked them their names,..the wife took a long hard look at me and said,.."We don't give out that type of information!!"

I would have been offended,..but I later found out that she said that same thing to the priest,..who simply wanted to ask the couple..if they woud like to attend mass at his parish!!
The priest was as nice to my husband and myself as he was the first weekend in Marietta when we first went to the initial Marriage Encounter. He made a point of speaking several times to everyone who came to both the initial Encounter and to the reunion. I teased him about not having a wife and he told me that the people of his church were considered to be his "spouse!" No one ever explained the priesthood that way to me before!! Why do I have the feeling that that man also takes his other "vows" seriously...too????

That first weekend, Father --- told me that his nephew was going deaf and that his sister,..the mother of the young boy in question, was in the hospital wih cancer weekend and I gave him a copy of Walking Free.
I told him that he did not have to worry about the boy's intelligence being affected by the onset of "early childhood deafness," but I told him that he should worry about how others treated his nephew as he grew up and to consider teaching the child some sign language so that he would feel at home with "signing deaf" folks. I also told him to encourage the boy to read and to encourage him to speak. What else could I do?

I ALSO told him to teach his nephew that being deaf or hard of hearing...was nothing to be ashamed of. What else..could I say??

You are twelve years old..and your mama has died. The person,..who once loved you and dried you tears and held you in her arms in such a loving way that you forgot all pain whatsoever, has been reduced to a memory.

SORRY!! I gotta rant!!!!:

I have seen a bouncing laughing auburn haired Boy become a silent pinch lipped shadow of himself. In his mom's old oak rocker,..he just sits and holds that damned Bitsie,..the faithful guard cat..who chews up EMS techs,.. in his arms and glares out at at the new one parent existence that he must now face.
Now,..here for all of the lovers of pain in this world..here would be a veritable feast!! A child,..who cannot cry because his mom has died!! Oh,..I forgot..let's just solve the problem by saying that he should have never been born!

Forget about the fact that this tearless child,..old beyond his years,..is the only comfort and companion that his father..that man..who took care of Annie for the past five years and loved her and sacrificed for her in an effort to keep her alive,..now has.

Of course,..in some folks' eyes..the worth of..such..a man does not count until they have seen his bank account..first, and he certainly does not deserve..such a son. In our society,...one MUST put one's own needs first..and this fool put the needs of someone else,..his dying wife,.. before his own.

God help that excuse for a human being of a neighbor lady..who said to Ralph and the Boy,.."She would have been better off in a nursing home and less trouble for you.

What are you going to do with her..set of bone china?? You should sell it to help pay your bills.

You are saving it for your son? The two of you should have never had a child,...twelve years ago after you first found out that she had the Multiple Sclerosis!!

Boys don't appreciate nice things like bone china!!...Blah! Blaaah! Blaaah!"

"HEEEEEEERE KITTY,..KITTY,..KITTY!" SAYS I.

I hope Bitsie,..the faithful guard cat,..bits the bitch in the ass!!!!

Tonight I made submarine sandwiches and chef salad for Bill and his dad..after they get home from North Canton where my husband has gone to pick our son up from his job. William will have put in a nine hour day today so I guess that he is determined to prove to his dad and myself that his "goofing off" days are...finished.

All I know that as far as I am concerned,..he is proving himself more responsible than he has been in the past. My son,..however,..took a great deal of joy in parading around the house with a half naked poster of Pamela Anderson,..seeking shocked responses from his dad and myself.

I thought about a certain box of stories,..now located in our attic, that I wrote and sold for a certain magazine when I lived in Cinncinati over twenty years ago. Hoooooooot! Hooooooooot! It would turn the poor boy's hair white if he knew the content of what was in that box!!!

This goes into my blog just like most everything that I have thought worthy of going into my blog..goes into my blog:

(a) I ignored the shortness of breath.

(b) I ignored the loss of appetite.

(c) I ignored the pain in my left arm and in my leg.

(d) I ignored the "gastric reflux,"..which is charactoristic of problems in one's chest.

(e) When I passed out on the job,..and my little old lady client told me,.."You ought to go see a doctor,..Em,..you look sick!"

I ignored her too.

Well,..I cannot ignore my heart doctor,..I have to go in for a "cardiac cath"...at a Canton hospital..on Wednesday next.

I don't know what is going to happen next.

Last Thursday's speaking engagement, I guess,..was a resounding success. I talked,..read portions of the book,..adlibbed,..clowned,...got a five minute STANDING OVATION....(pardon the lack of modesty,..but they did stand up and clap for an extended period of time!!)

I clowned around some more,..Rosezelle took questions,..and finally after an hour and a half..those bored wealthy women let us go to brunch with them.

Things were "O-K" till "Mrs. My-Rock-Is-Bigger Than Your Rock"...turned to me and said,.."You must tell me JUST how you can STAND being around people like that."

"People...like...what?" I asked her slowly.

"Those diseased people!" she sniffed primly,.."The invalids that you got out of the mental institutions!! You know,..the deaf ones,..the blind ones. It just turns my stomach!"

"Yeeeeeeaaaaah!" I growled, "My stomach is turning..too! I feel a nausea coming on,..in fact...."

"Em!!" barked Rosezelle,.."Save the comments. These ladies will want to buy their books!"

I was so angry that I went outside in thirty-five degree weather..without my coat on, to get our copies of our book!!
WE HAD JUST SPENT AN HOUR AND A HALF TALKING TO THOSE WOMEN IN THERE AND THEY HAD CLAPPED AND CLAPPED AND CLAPPED AND SOME OF THEM,..ESPECIALLY THIS ONE....HAD NOT ABSORBED THE MESSAGE OF "WALKING FREE!"

Guess who was first in line to buy a book??? Guess who gushed and mushed more than any other lady there about..."the nobility of salvaging wasted human potential!!"

Guess who I sent running with her hand over her mouth in shock when Rosezelle was not keeping an ear cocked in my direction? Mrs. "My-Rock-Are-Bigger-Than-Your-Rock"..had bought three books from us and asked me..if I would autograph them with the quote of her choice. I did so,
She asked me if I would take out my hearing aid so that her friend, who was standing beside her,..could see that I was really hard-of-hearing!!

"I don't wear a hearing aid," I explained,.."Because they irritate my ear canals,..but I will gladly take out my glass eye for you or remove my wooden leg,..if you have that bad of a need to see a prosthetic device in action!"

When I took off my glasses and reached towards my right eye,..the two women fled!!

Rosezelle..is going to KILL me!!

No more on Annie and the Boy. I can't bear to write anymore and I must remind myself that life goes on. This experience,..the thing that I am not telling my reader,..goes against everything that I believe in. However,..as I demand that my private beliefs..be respected..so I must respect the beliefs of other people.
I am not so cold hearted as I thought and after this weekend,..my belief in a Higher Power has been renewed!!

What happened this weekend?

My husband and I went on a Catholic Marriage Encounter Weekend. Except fo the fact that when I told the priest that I was a Pantheist and not a Catholic,..and he listed my religion as "an obscure form of Baptist",..I was impressed with the sincerity of the belief and the sense of community that I found among the people,..who met for this weekend retreat!!

My experiences with Annie have renewed my other belief that I should have more belief in a Higher power...and less hard cider!! (Joke!!)

This does not mean that I have lost my "sense of mischief" and will try to run about "converting people!!"

Things could not be much worse. Annie is lying in the hospital with no brain function. The Boy is bearing up. Bill has been on the phone with him all evening.

Bitsie,..the kitty, that I gave to Annie to cheer her up...has been lying on Annie's empty bed. When the paramedics came to get her,..Bits...attacked them tooth and claw!! The Boy had to lock the enraged kitty in his bedroom, then watch his mom being carried out of their house.

The question is,..will she live?

Fortunately or perhaps..unfortunately,..this decision...is not mine to make.

I am hoping to get a braille copy of Walking Free for the deaf blind lady from Columbus Colony for the Deaf and to that effect,..I am "going south" for a few days. This means that I am going to "work on a project of mine own!!" This means that I will become an impossible human being to live with for a while, but when I get this "buzzed up" about something that I want to do,..I usually get it done!!

On a negative note, two of Shakespeares vampire books were returned to me with a demand for their money back!! I, of course,..returned the cash. Then,..I had to go catch the evelope at the post office here as I already had mailed a check to Shakespeare.

Luckily,..I was able to get the evelope in time. I, then,..resent the money that I owe her for the books...a reduced amount,..but at least half of what I owe her!! In a week or so with permission,..I can write her a check for the remaining amount of money that I owe her and still balance my own book-keeping books!!

My question is: why do folks buy something,..keep it long enough to read it,..then,..suddenly get all full of morality and decide that they "want their money back..this does not fit into their "moral strictures!!"

I know why THEY do that:

(A) Such folks have had time to "satisfy their curiosity as to what "WICKEDNESS".. that I am selling now and get to read the book for free. and

(B) they get to "morally" condemn me for selling what they have just stollen from me and a hard working author...without having to pay for it!!

GROWWWWWWWL! GROOOOOOWL! NO WONDER I AM HEADING SOUTH..FOR A WHILE!!

My piggery with the ice cream was paid back in kind to me when I got a "hell-a-cious walkin' flu" a day or two later!! I think my whole digestive tract curled up and uncurled serveral times in the last few days and I will spare my reader the gory details of the spewing that ensued!!
The trip to Columbus,..Ohio,..last week,.. could be deemed a mild success,..I suppose. I met up with Questing Truth and we discussed a few details for the up-coming book. Rosezelle gave her a standard "acts and procedures" book on how to present her mauscript for publication and I gave her the "ancient" quilt.
That "stripy-weirdly colored" thingy WAS old. I hope that QT is careful with it and has it cleaned as I don't know what it could still have on it.
From what my husband says,..the quilt was old when it was thrown out either into the barn to cover the horses or out for the dog to sleep on and that was done in HIS grandfather's time!! How that thing escaped distruction for the past sixty or seventy years,..I don't know.
The thing that makes me happy is that at least part of the quilt will survive "in toto!" And the reason,..that it will survive in part or in "toto' is that I cared enough about it to give it to someone, who can appreciate it and will take care of it,..and will use it for the good of others.

How sad that we,..as human beings...cannot be so careful with the most precious things in our existence,...each other?

(More on the Columbus Trip,..later!!....QT and I meet up with a deaf-blind lady.....!!)