OOoooooo-k! Here's what separates the "mice" from the "lions!" The key to getting something done is to become obsessed with it and keep working on it and not stop working on it!! A good strong obsession can keep you going when all else fails!!

For the past month...I have been obsessed with pushing air in and out of my lungs. I was and am not thinking about what I was doing because the "alternative" to not struggling to push air in and out of my lungs is not a pretty "alternative" to contemplate.

Last night I propped myself up and read someone else's blog and gasped that this person should compare herself to someone that they were raised with,..but are totally genetically unlike!! The view of this person,..that I have,..is totally different.than what they see of themselves!!

How can a person,..who has struggled everyday of their life..pushing and striving to make the most of who and what they are and trying to overcome every moment of reminders of the "failures" of relatives and families, have to bear the shame of having a sibling with faulty "DNA"..in their bodily systems? The "shame," that having faulty DNA in one's cell structure causes, is just as unreal as the person,...who tries to tell me that I am "nuts" because I co-wrote some weird stories on a scifi bboard so that I could help a woman..ease her frustration..over having a disease that was slowly killing her.

If the "rape,..murder,..and pillage"..that Annie and I committed together during that time...on that message bboard in our "clone stories"..made the dying Annie feel better after I consider the "rape,.murder,..and pillage"..that Muliple Sclerosis was doing on her poor living body,...then I consider those stories to have served their sad little purpose.

Annie was a starfish..that I threw back into the sea..after a storm. I could not help that the ravages of MS washed her back ashore.

The genetic code of a family does not mean that a woman, who has striven all of her life to lead a good life,..has to be ashamed..of anything...especially as her e-mail letters kept me going as I watched Annie dying and I could tell no one about my anguish over that dying....till now.

I protected "Annie's" privacy and Questing Truth saved apart of my "sanity"...by listening to me via e-mail. The "Dancing Wind"..did the same for Annie and myself,..but in a different way. I would have to think more on this before I could explain it fully.

Right now,..I am concentrating on pushing the air in and out of my lungs.