The whole Terri shiavo case seems to bring home the point that I've made many times in various places:

"In this country, it is considered better to be dead than to be disabled."

The movie, "Million Dollar Baby,"..was a direct statment as to this feeling. The Terri Shiavo incident is becoming an opportunity for this opinion to be converted into direct action.

The courts seem to be reinforcing this opinion to the max while:

.......a woman is being denied food and water so that the man, who has never been given a polygraph as to whether he is telling the truth or not,......

.....the man, who has turned down large sums of money to give the poor woman back to her original family and let,..at least,.. THEM care for her, will not act in a way which will preserve the woman's life,......

.....and......that Terri will be better off dead because the man, who is living with another woman,

.......and who killed her cats rather than give them to her parents in 1991,

.....and who in the trial for the"money for Terri's rehabilitation"

.....never mentioned such a "deathwish,

...........does not want Terri Shiavo to live."

and

.....who has faithfully made sure that she not have her teeth cleaned since 1995,

....if I read the website correctly.

Disability Rights Activists are doing their best to make their point right along the able-bodied Activists,..who represent Right to Lifers and various religious groups. I just wish right now that I was able bodied enough to join them!

The man, who offered money over the internet to have Terri Shiavo's "husband killed,..was a jackass and deserved to go jail. What he should have done with his money and his time was to have offered to have provided the serverely disabled folks in his area rides to the voting booths on the next election day. What he should have done with his money was to have paid the way for folks to have gone down to Florida..to LEGALLY protest Terri Shiavo's impending death.

For once these folks are joined..Right To Life and Disability Rights..in a legitament common cause. I don't condon the RTL people putting their children out to be arrested. I don't believe in putting children in harm's way. I don't believe in breaking laws.

I do believe in:

"If we are to err,..let us err on the side of life."

I found the website for the group, "Not Dead Yet!" and I found that these folks have been saying what I have been saying and feeling during this whole "Terri Shiavo" affair:

Why is no one questioning Michael Shiavo's motives!?!??? The man has never been given a polygraph test to see if Terri actually said what she is supposed to have said to him even though Terri's life depends on whether or not he is telling the truth!! Why has she been sentenced to die such a horrible death?

If I were to refuse to give my kitty cats any water to the point that they died of dehydration, I could be arrested and sentenced to time in prison! A serial killer is sentenced to a quick and painless death if he or she is sentenced to death. They tie them down,.,perhaps giving them a seditive to calm them down before they are painlessly put into a death sleep. This takes only a few moments.

Terri is sentenced to a slow agonizing death, which could take up to two weeks! Poor Terri would have been better off if she had been born a cat!! A cat's guardian, at least,...is held responsible for their care of the cat!!

Easter was a quiet affair. A nice quiet dinner,..egg baskets,...and lots of fun baking....orange raisin muffins and corn bread cheese muffins! I only made six of each as I didn't want us to hog out too much on them!! The guys enjoyed the eating more than I did. I did do away with a chocolate bunny, which my diverticulitis will make me suffer for tonight!!

Still, it was worth it!! Yum! One of Life's little pleasures!! The only thing that spoiled my enjoyment of my chocolate was a fleeting thought of poor Terri Shiavo. I felt ashamed to be enjoying myself.

Do her "husband" and the judges, who sentenced her to her horrible death,..have any feelings...at all? Or..,like the hogs in George Orwell's book,...Animal Farm,..do they say to themselves,

.."All animals are equal, BUT some animals are..MORE..EQUAL....than others!!"

.......meaning that the "hogs in power" were "more equal than the rest of the other animals..because they were the animals.."in power!!"

Is a disability,..a servere disability,..now..a death sentence?

Sixty references on google to Walking Free! My student has asked that we read the book together. I have refused. What is there to be gained by that? The story is about Nellie and not me!! The child's mother will read the book with her.

Terri Schindler's life has not been her own since 1994. Now, it belongs to two opposing public forces: "Right To Life" versus "Right To Die!"

If Right To Die wins, and the feeding tube stays out,..one victory will have been won by that faction. However,....Right To Life will have gained a martyr!!

At RTL Rallies, I can just hear the cry, "Remember Terri Schiavo!!"

Riiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Some of the extremistis in this group don't need such a piece of "moral justification"..for some of the things that they do!!

I have no doubt that Mike Shiavo is "feeling something" as stated on -----'s news program. Still,..I ask the question asked by Joni Erikson Tada tonight on the L----- K----- TV show, "Has anyone ever given Terri's husband a polygraph test as to see whether Terri ever REALLY indicated to him that she wanted to die if she was in the state that she is in now?"

And I don't mean Florida!

The news has come out:

The Supreme Court has found Terri Shiavo worthy of death. Her crime is that it is supposed that she is in a persistive vegetative state. If she dies on good Friday, the symbolism will be perfect!! Like the Man, Who gave His Life on the cross,..she thirsts. There will, however,..be no sponge dipped in vinegar to quench her parched lips. With the almost certain death of Ms. Shiavo,.."Right To Life" has gained a martyr and "Right To Die" has gained a victory.

What do the people involved gain?

Her "husband" inherits forty or fifty thousand dollars,....he spent the rest of the 1.7 million dollars that he sued for her rehabilitation,.. on making sure that Terri would die. At least,...he will be able to provide for his "live-in" and their two children..under the circumstances.

Her parents and brother have probable legal expenses and a whole lot of heartbreak.

Terri Shindler-Shiavo..DIES.

Her death will have a tsunami effect on the "Right-To-Die" movement,..I hope. I can vote. And millions of folks like me can vote. Let's see how we vote in the next election.

As President Bush said,..and I RARELY agree with him,..."If we are to err,..let us make an error on the side of life!"

How just that this poor woman should be dying at Easter time.

Perhaps, she will die on good Friday,..if that does not make a statement,..I don't know what will!!

To write the story that I want to write,..I am going to have to totally change my way of thinking and with words, become someone totally alien to my usual way of thinking. I'm going to have to assume the identity of and crawl inside the skin and into the brain of not just one person,..who is a total egotist, but a whole crew of people, who assume that the world revolves around them.

After talking to Zula, and checking my notes from my Abnormal Psychology class that I took two years ago at S---- State College,..I thought that I was ready to start working on my new opus.
Then, I remembered the observations of some folks, who came to sit beside me several times at the children's library I often frequent, and some gossip, which I picked up over the internet.

Step one: Before I write anything,..I have to get a gay friend of mine to..read a few interesting stories.

Step two: Speak with my lawyer.

(More later..)

Aristotle wrote,

........"There is little value in creating a society, based on military valor,....because of a thing..(idea)......

...that keeps popping up in mankind from time to time:

"The desire...for peace!!"

Meniere's Syndrome. That is what the cardiologist...suggested that I look into a year and a half ago. So it's a year and a half..later,..but I will finally follow his suggestion.

All of the things that are in this blog today are only my opinion,..but the first ammendment says that I can state that opinion! here goes:

The value of a living will?

To determine one's own course of action after one has become so permantely disabled that one can no longer express one's cognition to the outside world?

I read some more articles on Terri Schiavo this morning. Should this woman be kept alive? What makes her case so impotant that it has come to the fore front of the national news again and again? Could it be the million dollars, which the lawyers will be getting anyway..because of all of the court wrangling going on, which Terri was awarded in a lawsuit be the reason?

What I am saying is sad but true: I have seen lives like her's ended after five minute decisions in the nursing homes and hospitals in which I worked as an LPN. I would say,..if Terri's eyes visibly followed the hands and body of the person, removing her tube,...that the tube should not be removed.

I once watched such a tube being removed to spare the family more medical expense, which they could not afford. The man had ALS. He had no way to say "yes" or "no"....about anything. He was breathing on his own.

What I can never forget..is...how his eyes seemed to widen as he watched the medical personel removed his feeding tube. Did he understand the implications? I don't know. Was he still capable of rational thought? I don't know.

People with ALS can maintain cogency even after all of their bodily functions and corporal means of communication fail. They know what is happening around them,..they are unable to communicate what they think or feel about what is going on. I never WILL forget that man's eyes..as they pulled that tube....out.

Teri Shavo has brain damage. I don't know what her mental capacity is. I do know that folks with brain damage,.even the most extreme forms,..can suprise folks with what they might be capable of!! "Brain damage" is not a good reason to say a person has no future.

And recently,..I do believe that a man in Terri's condition woke up. he thought it was 1984,...but his family didn't seem to care..so the newspapers said. And a woman in a coma, like Teri's, woke up!! This lady recently, so the newspapers said, talked to her mother on the telephone and asked for some make-up!! Whoever pulled the feeding tube on Teri Shiavo,..I hope that they at least once..looked into her eyes.

ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHH! POOR MISSSISSIPPI! ARRRRRRRGGGGGHHH! 30 CAR PILE UP!! AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!

So one woman, yesterday at Walmart, considered me to be.."one of those DAMNED" people,..who sign? One of those "DAMNED" signing people that her daughter is going to grow up to be like?

Heh! She didn't stick around long enough to find out just WHAT I considered her!!

Perhaps the cursing name-calling woman didn't have the "guts" to face me? I've been in that situation before. In Real Life and online, I do believe that I have tried to give to folks and not take from them....or hurt them.

I intend to go on with my home schooling projects and not let "critics" sideline me. Zula said that she got a call about two moms wanting me to teach their children PSE sign language and French! More students!!

Some day, if I can help it, the world will be filled with more of us "..damned people, who use sign language!!"

Only these "signers" will be hearing!

Quote of the day:

"When some individual or group of individuals calls you a name or makes critical remarks about you without really knowing you, they are only defining THEMSELVES as a person or group, who calls names and belittles other people in order to degrade others.

The insults others hurl at the intended victim do not make that intended victim into the substance of the insult.

The people, who intended to insult and degrade,..have already defined themselves!"

There is just no pleasing some folks.

My husband and I were in the local Walmart today. He pointed out the fact that a lady and a little girl were following us. I turned to face them and the child signed to her mom, "That is the lady in the book!! Nellie book! Walking Free book! Learn about in class,..my school!! I know her face!! I study book in school!! Fat! Fat! yes,..fat,..but is lady..same,..same! S'true!! Yes! Yes! S'true!"

Answering the child, I signed back in a teasing manner to her,.."My face same as book lady? Maybe too old,..me!! Me fat,..wobble walk!!!!"

The mom stood quietly by. I signed to her as I had not seen her speak, and my husband did not seem to be responding to her vocally,.."Your child,..deaf. You same, same?"

I smiled at her and tried to sign small so as to be polite. With each sign, the mother visibly...cringed and then turned away from me towards my husband and said something to him!! My husband sort of flinched. Then,..she grabbed her cart with one hand and her daughter with the other and turned and practically ran away from me!!

The little girl sadly gave me a "bye-bye" wave. My husband was very quiet as I walked back to him. He had his rigid.."how-the-hell-do-I-get-involved-in-situations-like-this" expression on his face.

When we got home home he told me what he thought the woman had said, which was..."How the hell am I supposed to deal with those "damned" people?? It's bad enough that my daughter is going to grow up to be like that!!"

Damned people?

And this woman "seemed" to be able to understand sign language!! Her daughter was signing to her a mile a minute!! And yet,..and yet,..she thought that I couldn't speak because I was signing and that made me.."one of those damned people,"..that her daughter was going to grow into!

I have to go prepare my French and English lit lessons for tomorrow for the school labeled.."special ed" kid. That will keep me from thinking about the fact that I am still.."one of those damned people!"

Checklist of symoptoms:

1. Periodic dizzy spells and falling down steps

2. Horrendous ear aches and sinus infections...(I had to have three "caldwell lucs"..to clear out my sinuses and believe me,..that is a "minor operation/hospital-stay type procedure,"...painful and NO picnic!!)

3. Worsening of hearing loss and occasional blurred vision with periods of infection and improvement when I am administered ultra-strong antibiotics.

4. Chronic high blood pressure which will not be brought under control with dietary measures or by a lifetime of b/p medications as it could be d/t an infection..(according to my physician.)

5. A philosophy which says that I must always try to work and set goals for myself. A philosophy that says that i have the same right to opportunites and to experiences that other folks have!

This blog session is ended as I have to go teach a kid,..who was sentenced to special education..English lit and French and PSE sign language!!

So I have started volunteering to teach home schooled children. I am teaching them PSE sign language and French. The young ones want to learn and actually seem to enjoy learning...unlike their public school counterparts. I had one little girl answering me in French the same day that her little class started learning the language. Of course, the PSE sign language is much easier for me to teach as I can see what the kids are saying to me!! I really enjoy relating to the children as individuals in the teaching and learning process, and I really enjoy seeing the love and attention that the mothers of these children give them.

Folks, who decide on home schooling, have not made a sacrifice but a valuable investment in the future of their children. Such mothers and fathers actually ENJOY the company of their children and the idea of passing along the knowledge,..accumulated in a mom's or dad's life-time,..is considered a blessing and not a waste of time to these parents. These views are,..of course,..my opinions,..based on what I am seeing in the relationships of the parents and children in front of my own eyes. And the view from here is that for some folks,..home schooling is a a very good thing,..indeed!

I had the makings of a good case of "bronchitus" when I woke up this morning and I also had a fever of 101 degrees!! After taking the first dose of a "Z-pac' antibiotic, I went back to sleep for about two hours, and then, woke up refreshed at about 8am!

My husband thought it would not be a good idea if I went out to my "home-schooling" project and so I called and told the "others" that I would not be coming into work on our common goal today!!

Heh!

"All of the children are all sick too!" my friend, Zula,..told me, "I guess that everyone is getting a day off!!"

I have been sooooooooooovery lazy today! I didn't even get dressed this morning!! I ran about all day in a house coat and played about..only making some "creamed" cucumber salad,..fish sticks and tater tots for supper,..and some home baked cream-filled banana muffins with tapioca pudding and bananas!! It takes me longer to make the tapioca pudding from scratch,..but it was fun....a doin' it!!

I want to move a book case and clean two rooms yet today but I can't really get anything done because I am sick!!

Arrrrrrrrrrrrgh!