I'm totally going to destroy that son of mine and his friend,..Shawn. This last prank of their's has just gone tooooooo far!!!
They went on a Lexx bboard and made total fools of themselves,..and drew my name into it!! This is almost the last straw,....the final juncture,.....the end!!
And I've got to show my face in public next week in front of that English class!! Oh hell!! Maybe,..I'll roll down the steps and break my neck,..if I am lucky!! I'm going to kill that boy!! I just know....I'm going to kill him!!!
His excuse? "OH MOM! Shawn and I wee just..defending your good name!!"
My Gawwd! What good name now?????????!

So,..here we go again,...Monday morning. Same things all over again...grouchy husband,..whinning 22 year old son.
..I have still to gather all of the material for those two damn term papers!! I got some very good material to work with last night from the one website, that I am peeking in on. The thesis will have to wait for now. Power plays are an important part of the web world. I was shut out of a site by a person,..who does not know my name and could care less. Then,..all the other folks on the list moved obediently to the tune played for them!! There must be a cookie-cutter personality type that enjoys using certain types of websites. The Dancing Wind seems to be the only individual, who has the brains to stand on her own two feet, but even she is nibbling from both sides of the "cookie!"
..I have to get the "secured" person from Wessex,..England to go look up my little protoge..over there. If she likes what she sees,..then,..something can be worked out to help a certain little girl out of her financial difficulties.
..Today,..I have to finish at least one essay. I think that I will just sit down and write one out of my head like the "MERMAN" ESSAY. IT TAKES ALL OF FIVE MINUTES AND HARDLY ANY PREPARATION.
..Time to go and do the honors to my statistics class! Bye! Bye!

..I guess that I was not very nice to Bill in my last post. In truth, I am not very nice to Bill in any of my posts!! It is hard for me to realize that he is a grown man. All parents,..I suppose have a hard time with that particular fact. It is hard for me to realize that a little girl,..no a young woman,..has given up her religious vocation and left a convent because she is in love with him.
..As a parent,..I must have done something right. My husband and I have raised a human being, that another person is in love with. That, itself, is an accomplishment. But what kind of an adult will this young man become? "The boy is father to the man"......I will just have to wait and see!!
..As a human being, I will be forever obscessed with the need to prove myself. I have three college degrees,..and am working on a fourth. I am supposed to be working on a second manuscript, but I am finding every excuse under the sun to keep me from getting started. Questing Truth is going to get tired of my messing around and decide not to write with me if I don't settle down and get to work.
I will lose my writing option in April if I don't come up with something worth the publishing company's time and energy. I am a terrible procastinator and a flake when it comes to getting things done on time. I also spend too much time growling about things, that have happened in my past,..and too much energy,..resenting things, that were said or done to me,..intentionally or unintentionally!!
..My escape from reality is to make a joke out of everything!! Still,..one cannot hate the whole world and a good laugh is a thing, that is hard to find in a world like ours,' is today!! If I can make one person smile, during a sad moment of their life,..then,..I will have accounted for my getting out of bed that morning!!

.....Stanelle,
avec un "n!'

ON PEOPLE,...WHO TRIED TO MAKE YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT YOURSELF!!

When I was in high school, I sat beside a blond version of Kai. He was so "god-damn-handsome" to me then that I felt my tongue develope a bad case of velcro and it would stick to the roof of my mouth and I could never say a word to him because he was so damn good looking. I was totally in love with the guy,..but even if he had talked to me,..I probably would not have been able to hear a word, that he said to me as I had no hearing aides.
In wild lust-filled moments,..I calmed my thoughts of him by writing dirty poems to him, sonnets--(that was my senior year,..the year ,..that I discovered Shakespeare!), and a dirty limerick, involving the crotch of his pants. He never knew of my passion for him.
The other day,..he brought a copy of the NELLIE ZIMMERMAN STORY for my autograph. I signed it. He said, "Thank you!" Then,..he came back to me looked at me and said to me,"You know...I use to really lie you in high school, but everyone said that you were so damn stuck up 'cause you got good grades, that I was scared to talk to you. I thought that you would put me down 'cause I was what you used to call,..."those dumb jocks!" Meeeeeeeee? Did I say that?
WOULD i HAVE SAID THAT TO HIM? Me with the big nose, elephant ears, squinty narrow eyes,..and pixie glasses? Me,..the girl with the terminal case of "acne?" I used to think that no one spoke to me cause everyone else was stuck up!!

Some peole are born into homes that immerse them in culture from the day that they are born. Others,..like me,..are forced into it. Rozelle took me to a book reception. Bill got some video tapes of opera and tried to make me listen to one opera called what sounded to me like "DAH BOMB."
Later,....I found out that it was pronounced LA BOHEME. The music after the folks open their mouths and start to sing are like a big bomb...they make the air explode with sound. LA BOHEME has a simple plot. It is about a sick girl,..who coughs a lot. She coughs because she is straining her throat from the human howling, that is called singing in opera.
The girl coughs a lot in the first three acts and then,..she ,..finally..dies in the fourth.If she hadn't died about then,..I would have been ready to kill her.......she soundd so bad! The whole thing was captioned wih subtitles because no one could have lip-read them. The subtitles did not make sense sometimes. In one part,..the hero comes out and sings and sings and sings and sings about he sick coughing girl. Then,,when the caption came on the screen for what the man said,..all there was was,"You...ok?"
She yodled back at him for fifteen minutes. Then,..the screen read, "Hack! Hack! I can't breath right!"
I was truly relieved when she died!

I was depressed today. I did not think that anything could cheer me up. My college classes made it worse.
I mentioned the movie,.."Towering Inferno," as a passing reference None of the other students knew what I was talking about!!
I made the mistake of mentioning that I have been married almost twenty-five years and got looks as if I had just come out of the stone age!! My Lord!! I'm no spring chicken,..but it was a bit of a shock to realize that I am the oldest person in the college class!!
No one in that class has reached the age of twenty-five!! The professor is a blooming young boy of forty!!! It is enough to drive me to drink!!
I should be allowed to drink all of the cider that I want........I've had more years to practice drinking cider than the younger folks,..who tell me not to do it!!

I can afford to drink more than the young ones!! I can make a gallon of my special cider for nothing!! I am told that a six pack costs a fortune!!
At my age,..I have more reasons to drink than a girl of twenty. A girl of twenty has not lived as long as I have and should have only half of my reasons to drink..or less!! I am not as sloppy a drinker as some of the young folks,..that I know.
All I do when I drink is stay at home,..make acid comments,..write dirty stories,..and try too sing "Melancholy Baby," and "Where Were You When I needed YOU?" i cannot help it if 3/4 of the dogs in the neighborhood sing along with my loud voice!!
Young people,..who get soused,...go out and smash up cars,..kill each other,..get pregnant,..destroy things and are sloppy and mean drunks. I just post dirty stories on the Lexx bboard!!
Younger people should let folks like me get a little soused once in a while!!,.. I think that if my family does not let me have my cider occasionally,..I am going to get radical.
I know the last time that I got REEEEAAALLY good and soused,..I ran the billy goat for mayor of the vilage,..it was not my fault that the goat was not elected. He probably would have done a better job as mayor than Mr. Benson does....anyway!
I think that I will get drunk and run for village council. Then,..I can get the police to do an "Ugly Patrol" on Navarre.
I could just see this. My husband's second cousin,..John Balzer,..the sheriff finally picking up Mrs. Bimblewort for her ugly face and temper!! ........i...e.....:

Officer: Mrs. Bimblewort,..you must come down to the station with me!"

Mrs. Bimblewort: What did I do today,..officer?"

John:"You are in violation of the Navarre Ugly Ordinance! No one with elephant ears,..a nose like a hose,..or cross-eyes can legally come out till after dark!"
I would like to see Mrs. Bimblewort's face when the officer tells her to spread 'um!! She would probably throw herself on the ground and say,.."Do me officer! I have not had any for a week!!"
With neighbors like her,..no wonder...I am depressed!!........

Wheeeeee!!! The bookfair was a success!! The book reception<,...I suppose,...was a success,..too! I enjoyed the bookfair!! I got a bellyache from the book reception!!
The book reception took place Nov. 1,..it was a reception,..given in an exclusive part of Wooster by some folks,..who consider themselves quite literary. I guess that that is all right.
These literary folks have the money to give parties to invite other literary minded folks to and make literary talk!! I was so bored in the first half hour from hearing the words.......I,..I,...I,....and me so much,..that i TOOK MY HEARING AIDE OUT AND NEVER PUT IT BACK IN FOR THE REST OF THE PARTY.!!!
To make sure that I would not have to say much,..I filled my plate full of food and kept my mouth stuffed full so that I sounded like I was saying,"Hmmmmmph--dickle--crunch---hummmph" in response to all of the things that I was supposed to be hearing. People would drift over,..talk to me,..I would listen to them,..and answer them,"Hummph! Chew-chew-mutter" to all of their comments and questions.
One sort of chubby bald guy,..a lot of other people had been following around, came over to talk to me and BuzyBee as we were representing the folks from Densmorereid Publishing. This gentleman chatted me up something fierce. I had a half idea about what he ws talking about and he kept going and getting me the "fish egg jelly," that Questing Truth and Dancing Wind have since told me is the stuff called caviar. I kept eating it as I did not want to hurt his feelings and he kept putting the stuff away like my cat, Baxter, puts away kitty treats!! Then, he started to bring me the "boiled pine cone delight," known to other folks as articokes. I was turning green from them,..but I was too embaressed tostop eating them as I did not want him to know that I hadn't really heard a word, that he had said!! BuzzyBee came to my rescue and finally seprate the two of us,..me from my "knight of fish eggs and boiled pine cones!!" When we went home,..Buzzy tod me that I had been befriended by a Mister Neil Zurcher of TV fame for his one tank trips! He had been fascinated by my ability to "listen" to him and never mention my own book during the whole conversation!! "That Hensel woman has intense powers of concentration,." Mr. Zurcher told the Buzzing Bee,..and all I had to do was keep her plate fill!ed! I never met anyone,..who enjoyed caviar and articokes so much!! And I just loved talking to her!! She really listened to me!!" Buzy scolded me about takingout my hearing aides at social functions and I blurged everything up out of my agitated stomach on the way home from Wooster!! Mr. Zurcher caught up with me the next day at the bookfair,.....bought one of our copies of WALKING FREE,..and left me a gift...a in of some sort of fancy fish egg jelly,..called something like "beluga caviar," and a basket of about two or three dozen fresh arty-cokes,..and several jars of arty-choke hearts!!! He told me that he intended to continue our conversation of the night before and wanted to come visit me next time he comes to town!! I wonder what the hell I didn't hear him say!! Buzzy says that I got myself into this and I have to get myself out!!!
OH MY!! WHAT AM I GOING TO TELL THE SIXTY-FIVE YEAR OLD?
I gave the basket of arty-chokes and tin of caviar to the Buzy Bee. She likes them!! Maybe she'll tell the TV guy that I don't want to see hm next time he comes to town!!!