Another new day! Another chance to live and breath in a whole new different way!!!
The fanboard,.that I have explored for opinions and ideas for such a long time,..has not completely died out. I have a feeling that it is going to be around for quite a while yet!!
This fanboad is the home of some of the most creative and rebellious people that it has ever been my fortune or misfortune to meet!!! Yet,..they are no different in certain ways than the rest of society feels to me,..I have written the same things that they write,.expressed the same views that some of them express,..talked to some of them via e-mail and recently chat,..and I still scare the shit out of some of them.
What is worse,..is that by occasionaly letting some of my younger friends and relatives use my ISP....OR whatever the term is that a person calls a computer terminal.....I find that I am given credit for some of my young friends' pranks and writings!!
Gaaaaaaaaah!!!!
I cannot understand why I cannot get into a writing mood. I guess it is because I have not met up with the BUZZER lately. She tells ME some of the thigs that she had to put up with as a Deaf when she came from the hills of Kentucky as a girl and I sit agahast that a human being could live through that sort of treatment and come out of it as relatively unscared as she is!! Her husband.......lived through an absolute hell as a child.
All I had to put up with was an ass of a shrink,..who said that "I didn't respond to people because of "mental deficiency!!" Jimmy, at age 22 years, looked at me and in five minutes said, "You aren't hearng properly. Accept it. Go getyour ears tested."
I did. I couldn't hear. My ears get stuffed up with mucus...in the middle ear? I am not sure of the mechanics.
I do have a sort of brain dmage, that I probably was born with,...that distorts sound. My great-aunt told me that I was blue.....when I was born and that I seemed to be slower to respond to sound as a newborn,..but that I always seemed to focus on what I could SEE! SHEEEEESH! Would not that in itself have been a slight CLUE..THAT something was wrong with the way that I was hearing things...if my great-aunt Mildred,..who only saw me several times a month,..could pick up on it??? I am not going into this as I am going to get upset if I do.
Thanks to my dear moher and her theories of "Train the kid to be normal and act normal..no matter what," I can "PASS"........as hearing till a person REALLY gets to know me. I should really pass on my mom's TRAINING TECHNIQUES"....to Osama bin Ladan!! (bad, bad,..bad,..joke!!)
Enough bitching about the past!! Enough self pity!! I still have to prove myself to me!!! The rest of the world is just...a part of a group of bystanders,....in certain areas. My internal life is dependent n me. I have just one BIG rule...cause as little distress and pain to others....as I can!! I DON'T have to spend my entire life raising hell in destructive ways......there are hundreds of "socially acceptable" ways to...provoke change!
Yiiipes!! Have to get ready to go to work!! Gotta go!